Glitter and Growling

jaclcfrost:

the real reason i like tall people

  • i aim to befriend them and slowly earn their trust so that they will carry me around on their shoulders

Speaking as a tall person, this is a reasonable and achievable goal.

horsesforfraublucher:

thedevilstongue:

olivialaurel:

My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.

Oh my GOD.

Extreme dad jokes.

naamahdarling:

donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.

I feel like it’s not okay for me to be laughing so hard at this.

Both sentences that will be uttered at my funeral.

engineeringpoodles:

Yessssssssss

engineeringpoodles:

Yessssssssss

mothbug:

i risked my life for these pictures you nerds better appreciate them

camwyn:

Pacific Rim AU; Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers as the pilots of the American jaeger, Captain Falcon

all together now…. FALCON PUNCH!!!

We Are Family

copperbadge:

Mum brought me a potted aloe vera succulent for housewarming. I told her I was calling it Ragtime.

"Ragtime?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Aloe, my Ragtime gal."

I’d say she disowned me, but she was laughing too hard.

vthebookworm:

ragglefraggles:

when they say youre too old for disney

The hop, I can’t. I cackled.